Tuesday, May 31, 2011

It's not Nick's birthday but...

Today is not Nick's birthday. His birthday is in January. However,I read this poem today and it sums up feelings I feel on both Nick's birthday and on Mother's Day about Nick's birth mother.


It’s my Childs birthday today. He just went dashing by me. His eyes are sparkling with the excitement only meant for today. Presents, kisses, hugs, cake, ice cream; it all seems so natural. It’s a ...day for looking back and looking forward.
It's my child’s birthday today; but there’s something very different happening inside of me. This should be a day of complete joy. A day for thanksgiving;but I’m stopped in the midst of all this excitement. I’m stopped because my thoughts are with “someone” else for a time. It’s my child’s birthday today.I have no memories of his life growing inside of me and fighting to be released. I have no memories from the beginning months of his life. Another “someone” was there. Another “someone” suffered for my joy. It’s my child’s birthday today; but “someone” somewhere is feeling emptiness inside. I wonder if she is wondering:Wondering who he looks like
Wondering how big-how small,wondering if he laughs much,wondering if he will wonder someday, too. It’s my child’s birthday today and in the midst of this blessed day that was given to me I have a prayer: Oh, God that I may never forget that “someone” suffered so much to give life to my child. That “someone” loved my child so very much in that she gave him the right to live. May I never forget for a moment and especially now, today, to offer a prayer of thanks for that “someone”, and that you, dear God, can always be there by that “someone” to help her through the hurts she will have when she stops to think that today is “my child’s birthday”.

I truly feel immense gratitude for a woman I don't know, who lives half-way around the world. I feel grateful to a woman who chose to give my son his life. I don't know if she ever does think about Nick. She may not. We'll never know. What I do know is that I am grateful to her for carrying him to term. She has given our family one of the greatest gifts that one person can give to another.

Monday, May 2, 2011

From brirthdays, to egg hunts to trips...

Nick hunting for Easter Eggs with his Halloween bucket. He was determined to hunt eggs with his Spiderman bucket and NOT his Easter basket!

I went to Time Out For Women this past weekend with my in-laws while Alex & Taylor attended Time Out For Girls with their cousin, Blakely. It was a fantastic weekend. Taylor turned 12 in April. She wanted a "Vera Bradley" hipster purse as her birthday gift. He grandma fulfilled her wish.While me, Alex & Taylor were at Time Out For Women/Girls Chris took Nick on a weekend camping/riding trip with his Poopaw (Grandpa). They also had a great time.
We were all spread out this past weekend as Lauren was at her Regional Competition for trampoline and tumbling. She went with her friend. She too had a good weekend and competed well.When does life slow down???